Ran into Anya from America's Next Top Model Cycle 10. I went up to her and said, "This my be a stupid question, but are you Anya from America's Next Top Model, Cycle 10?" And she responded in the voice that she has...

"WHY IS THAT A STUPID QUESTION?"

Adorable.

( Me and Anya )

i'm going insane. my last job, that i was really considerate and professional about leaving, has decided not to pay me. why? they don't know. there was a miscommunication internally.

however, i have to wait.

which doesn't help because i just paid rent.

and my bills.

and went into my savings and the money i was planning to use to pay off my credit card.

and i called again today. five days since when i should've been paid. unfortunately, they still don't know what is going on. if i'm getting paid. it's going insane.

i'm going to have to give an invoice to my current boss, because...this is nuts.

...so i'm gorging on udon noodles with bacon and a fried egg on top. if it sounds not too great. well. it wasn't too bad. which is pretty much the same thing.

i was in the grocery store the other day buying a rotisserie chicken and canned beans (because i'm lazy and don't want to cook, and eat unreal goals of portion control) when i came to a halt. you know when you reach a corner of a building that has ... i can't verbally explain it.

fuck.

ok...

____ ______ ________
l l l l l l
l l l l l l
l l l l l l
imagine that these are
aisles
l l l l l l
l l l l l l
l l l l l l
____ ______ ________

8=D (_*_)
(if you have a shopping cart, you'll notice this is a tight squeeze)
>:G
_______
l
l (Man with a cart)
l
l (Me)

the lower case l's represent food in the aisles. the straight lines represent the walls. as the note says above, there was a bit of a tight squeeze. so tight, that you'll notice that where i've strategically placed a tight asshole, there were women all a chatter with their carts. and where you see a strategically placed rocket ship were three dicks in shopping carts lining up to get by. and they did. clumsily. and bumpily. and then the man ahead of me went. and right as i was about to slip through, this woman with attitude slipped me some shade and said all kinds of bullshit nonsense. or just "excuse me." but not in a nice way. you know the way i'm talking about. "excuuuuuuuuuse me." giving me attitude.

omg. i just checked what that map looks like after i post this thing. it's horrible. makes absolutely no sense. goddamn. this is how it seriously looks on my screen:


that makes more sense...right?

anyway.

i had been waiting to get by after four people. i don't have a fucking shopping cart. i did not bump my wide, flat ass into her cart. why the hell is this bitch slipping me shade?

so i turned and said, "shut the fuck up."

i then turned back to where i was going and bought my rotisserie chicken. and cans of green beans.

...i've been horrible about updating. but the past few months have been really straining.

but all is good now. while i did design a few things with my old employer, i found a new job, which is amazing. i may, in the end, not go into graphic design as a career path. i'm still deciding what i want to do with myself.

that doesn't mean that i don't get a chance to design at my new job.


i like it. trying to keep it corporate. but that's all that's new right now.

and i, of course, didn't explain what the hell it was. it's supposed to just represent a video we're going to have at this show, demonstrating the passage of time and the change in technology. i may need to add more elements, but that's where it is at right now after my meeting yesterday.

i was looking at pictures of someone who isn't really my friend, but added me on facebook because we have a lot of the same friends, and it was him and his boyfriend. and while they were clearly projecting an idea of happiness, i hope to god i never end up like him.

tyler is making bar-b-que, and i've never wanted him more than i do right now.

anyway, today i have brunch with my friend casey, whom i haven't seen in nearly three years. or is it nearing four? i'm not good with keeping up with my friends. it's really horrible, because i'm so involved with the person immediately in front of me or with me. the person captivating me at the moment is the person who gets all my attention. it's out of sight, out of mind, right? i hate that about myself. so, to avoid any chance for an awkward moment, because there's always that chance, i suggested brunch. with bottomless drinks. i'm getting greyhounds. i haven't done drunch in forever, and i need some fun.

then we are going to my hapa friend Gina's photo exhibition in the park. i forget where it is, so i have to write down the notes in my phone. ugh. i hate being poor. just so you know. poor with an expensive phone. poor because i buy too many vices and snapples.

so, i'm putting booze into the equation. a free art thing inthe park on this beautiful day. they're expecting scattered isolated storms, but that's 30% chance. which i don't mind. it means more humidity, and i've grown to really like this heat if i'm dressed appropriately.

i need to select my outfit. i better look amazingly hot. why? she's just my friend, whom i haven't seen in forever.

ok. jaime oliver making bar-b-que can just put it inside me already.

i actually had drinks with a friend's sister recently. my best friend from high school, actually, whom i didn't keep up with. but getting drinks with her sister was so much fun. she was always so feisty. it was good to reconnect with her.

so, hopefully, this will be good. i've had a rough week, and i need some fun.

and, afterwards, i can work out. i really want a relaxing night. just staying in, playing on my computer, working on my portfolio.

i'll keep this updated to see what i make. they'll just be roughs because i'll have to print them out and the go at them with a pencil.

i just got a text, shortening my food network tv watching. why? a man named ernesto has been wanting to get to know me better. before i met tim. which is great timing that he decided to reconnect, because...there are things i just need to forget that tim mentioned.

so unluckiest memorial day weekend ever. after returning this woman's purse, i ended up losing my debit card, which i shouldn't be using anyway. so, while it is an inconvenience, it is somewhat of a blessing in disguise.

but, i've been meeting new people, and have just gotten more creatively inspired. i'm starting to sketch again, and i want to get more things made for my portfolio. i've decided some of the things i've been holding onto when i need different categories (i love my izze stuff, but i love my cocaine ads much better, and that's two beverage categories. i was thinking of other products i like, like yankee candles or burt's bees. i already have sketches). i just need a website. and an actual blog. that kind of stuff.

i'm also even more determined to learn flash, now that i've seen what we're doing at our company. i just know i can make things cooler than what they're doing now, and i know that when i say "cooler" to them, they think "younger," but what i mean is "not lame." like, i know this is corporate, and these are old people. but they've seen lord of the rings or something with computer graphics, so where's the razzle dazzle in the things that these people do? are we not trying to constantly get people's attentions? or is their creative scope limited. the best things i ever see are the scenic, and that isn't really handled at this location.

but too tired right now. too tired. can't wait for this weekend. a high school friend is in town and i'll finally have some money.

savage grace:

what does that mean?

i went to bed bath and beyond yesterday. because i needed yankee candles and unnecessary shelves that don't really hold much, when i was looking at curtains. and this woman comes up to me, very pushy, and asks me to move out of her way. i turn to her and see her gorging on a half eaten, cone mutilated, scoop of ice cream (or perhaps two).

and the look on her face with the combination of her pushiness and chocolate smearing led me to say...

...ewwwwwww...

to her face.

no control. i have absolutely no self control.

i was on tastespotting. like i am everyday. and came across this.

it made me chuckle. which makes me ashamed.

speaking of feeling ashamed...

yesterday i was on the subway. and, i'll admit, i was feeling sexy good about myself. i had a nice outfit on showing just enough chest and blah blah blah. i looked good. but sleepy.

until i noticed this gay guy totes cruising me on the subway. i am not ignorant to the attention i receive, so, while sitting cross legged, he stood in front of me holding the hand railing.

he wasn't very attractive. had a beautiful blue shirt, tho. horrible jewelry for his piercings.

anywho.

i was feeling...teasing. so i "doze" and touch myself...not like, explicitly dirty. just touching my chest here and there. lifting my shirt to scratch my stomach. that kind of stuff.

the guy is glued. he just stares.

but i notice he's staring at my ankle, that is bare, with ankle high socks. so my foot was kind of showing.

once we get to his stop, i can tell that he's noticeably excited...lols...when he bends down to get his bag and...

...sniffs my foot...

...blatantly.

it was gross. i felt disgusting. but i was teasing the poor man.

cock teases never prosper.